


Praying

by Sesshin



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Assault, But it's definitely there, I don't condone any of this, Lots of bad things, M/M, OC Story, OC backstory, Poor Mantis man, This story will probably not make sense to anyone, Torture, boy has been through one hell of a tough time, hooboy, i'm just writing what happened to my OC, it's not graphic, minor blood play, ok, rape first of all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 10:01:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12815124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sesshin/pseuds/Sesshin
Summary: This is the telling of Matthias Verkolv, aka 'Mantis' and his torture at the hand of his former teammate. This story delves into his long road to recovery, and dealing with his inner demons. Its pretty graphic, and not for the faint of heart. I don't condone the actions in this story.





	Praying

**Author's Note:**

> -loud yelling- Finally getting all this OC stuff written down! God, I am a bad OC owner. This story also contains my best friends OCs too~

It had been months, since Anque had found him.

Naked, beaten, bound and gagged. Slumped in a chair, blood crusting over his ripped out piercings. When he closes his eyes, he can still feel each and every one of them, being forcefully pulled from his body. He can still hear Adrik, his _comrade,_ laughing at his screams of pain, at his failures. He can smell Adrik’s pungent aftershave, from the man having leaned down to mock his failures to his face.

“Mantis... _Mantis!”_

He jerked, knocked out of the memory he never seemed to be able to fully escape. He looked up, seeing Mason, smiling patiently at him from his bedroom door. Mantis blinked owlishly at him a few times, lightheaded, having been unaware of his near hyperventilating.

“Breathe for me. In, and out. Okay? Just breath.” the smaller man instructed, working hard to keep the panic off his features.

Mantis did as he was told, slowly releasing the tight grip he had on either of his arms. He could feel stinging crescent whelps where he’d dug in his nails. After several moments, Mason stepped forward, but kept enough distance between them to avoid trapping Mantis.

“H-How uh...ahem, how are you today?” He asked softly, fidgeting with his glasses, looking around the trashed room that Mantis hadn’t bothered to clean.

Mantis shrugged, grunting as a response as he busied himself with picking at his pajama bottoms. He was grateful for Mason, but this talking shit never got any easier.

Mason spoke up again, clearing his throat, “Jamie and I are going to go shopping. Dex is at work, b-but Anque will still be here. Is that okay?” He asked softly, finally looking back at Mantis, just in time to get a frown.

“I am...better now Mason, you don’t have to keep mother-henning me.”

“Manti-”

“Go. I’ll be fine, okay?”

There was a pregnant silence between them, before Mason sighed, sagging forward a bit. He nodded, worrying his lip with his teeth before speaking again.

“You have my numbe-”

“ _Mason.”_

“Okay, okay! I’m going.”

He spared Mantis a smile, before turning, leaving him alone with his thoughts once more. He wasn’t sure how long he stayed, staring at the door. Minutes, maybe hours. Time seemed to stop mattering when he came face to face with Adrik after all those years.

Hell, Adrik had thrown everything out of sync.

He didn’t eat hardly, and when he slept it was more often than not plagued with nightmares of watching his team die over and over again, or being tortured by the man he’d long thought dead. This pain wasn’t lessened by knowing only one member had actually perished, if anything, knowing that made it so much worse.

Not only had he failed his team, he bail-

“No.”

He growled out, to himself, shaking his head. That wasn’t fair to him or his team. At least, that’s what Mason and Zia kept telling him. He ran a hand through what was left of his hair, puffing out a ragged sigh. He knew if he kept up this cycle of self wallowing, he was going to end up eating the barrel of the gun under his bed.

He smiled, a sad little smile, remembering as Anque and Jamie tore through the house, locking up all the guns that Mantis had hidden over the years. He was honest about their locations, all but one anyway. He wasn’t ready to give up that final security line just yet.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometime later that day, maybe a few hours after Jamie and Mason took off, Mantis finally left his little sanctuary, heading to the kitchen. Anque did what he could to make sure Mantis ate, and he figured he might as well do his part to help.

He wasn’t honestly sure who was taking everything worse, him, or Anque. He’d never seen the man look so haggard. While he didn’t really look young to begin with, the stress of Adriks return, and Mantis’ kidnapping had definitely taken its toll. Mantis was hit with another pang of guilt as he tried to stomp down the voice screaming at him that this was all his fault.

Stepping into his kitchen, he spotted Anques back, the man leaning over the sink, now doubt getting ready to prepare a meal. While he knew it wasn’t necessary, he found himself clearing his throat out of habit, announcing his presence. His heart broke a bit as he watched Anque jerk, dropping a plate into the, thankfully full, sink. He turned, wearing something between a grimace and a growl, before instantly softening upon seeing Mantis, pausing his dishes to speak in their native tongue.

“Good morning...er...afternoon.”

Mantis forced a smile and nodded, crossing his arms self consciously over his body, yet another thing he had Adrik to thank for.

“Uh...yeah...So...Whatcha doin?’’

_‘God, are you making small talk?’_

Anque either ignored or didn’t notice the grimace at his internal dialog, just turned back to the sink,

“Getting ready to make lunch. Figured you could use something to eat.”

“I uh...yeah...It’s been a bit I guess.”

There was another heavy silence, before Anque sagged forward, leaning on the sink.

“It’s been nearly two days since you’ve eaten, Mantis.”

Mantis cursed quietly, taking in a sharp breath. No wonder he felt so dizzy when he woke up.

“...Oh…”

“...Sit down will you? It won’t take long.”

He spoke in a tone that while Mantis _knew_ wasn’t forceful, it wasn’t really one that brokered any discussion. Mantis said nothing, but took a seat regardless, fidgeting with the little shrimp salt and pepper shakers he’d gotten Jamie for their last birthday. There were several beats of silence as Anque prepared the skillet and ingredients, before he spoke once more.

“How did you sleep?”

Mantis snorted at the question, setting the shaker down. He leaned on the table with one elbow, the other hand picking at his pants once again.

“Same as usual. Same as always.”

He winced at his own sarcastic tone, clawing his scalp in frustration, before speaking again.

_‘Can’t even control your own emotions anymore? Tsk, what a shame Matthias.’_

“I...Sorry.”

Anque simply grunted in response, knowing better than to let Mantis’ unpredictable emotions and outbursts get to him. Mantis spoke again after a moment, determined to keep his tone softer,

“So uh...whatcha making anyway?”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lunch had gone smoothly enough, if one ignored the blatantly forced small talk. Mantis wasn’t sure what was worse anymore. The strained relationships between him and his lovers, or Adriks voice in his head, laughing and commentating on everything. As soon as he ate what he could stomach, he bolted back to his room, fighting the rising panic of being out in the open for too long. If he thought hard enough, he could ignore the disappointed look on Anques face when he jerked away from the hand Anque laid on his own.

Slamming his door with more force than he intended, he flattened himself against it, gulping down breaths. Not for the first time, he found himself cursing having such a large house, as he’d ran full speed from the kitchen to his room.

_‘Running away again?’_

He screamed, clawing at his scalp as he fell to his knees

_‘_ SHUT UP!’

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting his forehead thunk against the tiled floor, a strangled sob escaping him. It wasn’t 1pm yet, and here he was, again, screaming at ghosts and shaking on his bedroom floor, wracked and heaving with sobs.

It was at least an hour before his breathing finally slowed, and the tears finally stopped. He was curled up in the corner of his room, back to the door, and gun in his hands.

_‘It would be so easy’_

He stared down at the barrel, his eyes puffy and swollen from crying. He wasn’t sure they’d ever go back to normal.

_‘Its no less than you deserve’_

He ran his fingers over the grooves of the cylinders, feeling how they’d worn down over the years.

_‘You’re causing everyone you love so much stress Matthias. How long before they stop trying to save you from yourself?’_

He felt his grip tighten on the revolver, _her revolver_ , as he screwed his eyes shut, letting his head thunk back against the door, forcing himself to think of Anque, Jamie, Mason, hell, even Dexter. Anything but Adriks’ cutting words, boring into his mind.

‘I can’t…’

_‘You’re weak!’_

“I am not weak!” He whispered hoarsly, sliding the gun back towards his bed, anything to get it out of his hands.

“...Mantis?”

He blinked, half convinced he’d imagined Masons voice, before he spoke again from the other side of the door.

“You uh...y-you okay?”

He was still for a moment, before scrambling for the gun, shoving it back into the case, and under the floorboard of his bed.

“J-just a sec!”

_‘Stuttered like a child, how cute’_

Mantis glowered at the voice in his head, before kicking a shirt back over the floorboard, turning to the door. He took a moment to steady his breathing and his voice.

“You can come in Mason.”

After a few seconds, Mason peeked his head in, wearing a sneaky little grin that instantly sent Mantis on edge, narrowing his eyes.

“What?” He asked flatly, tone harsher than intended.

He watched Mason chew his lip, sidling into the room, both his hands behind his back, holding, _something_ , almost as big as he was. Had it been anyone other than Mason, Mantis likely would have been on the brink of another panic episode. He ignored the darker thought that he could easily disarm and kill Mason without breaking a sweat, choosing instead to motion to the smaller man.

“And...what are you up to?” He asked, still squinting at him. This only caused Masons smile to grow as he waddled forward, the box knocking into his calves gently with every step.

“Well...uh...I bought you something. Anque told me you used to play w-when you were in the service, and I figured you probably still know how. Besides, they say that music can be very therapeutic, an-”

Mantis held up a hand, silencing the brunette.While Mantis appreciated him, and everything he’d done for him, the boy never shut up when he got excited.

“In four words or less Mason.”

This caused Mason to pout, but nod, shuffling the hastily wrapped box in front of him, holding it out.

“I bought you a keyboard...that...oh...that’s five words.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After unwrapping the present, and thanking Mason, assuring him it was a fine gift about a dozen times, he was finally left alone once more. He’d set up the keyboard in the other corner of his room, keeping the chair against the wall, still unable to really give the door his back.

That had been about an hour ago, and he had yet to touch a key, simply staring at them, dumbfounded. Did he actually remember how to play? Did he want to? He’d had to shush an excited Mason again, as he babbled on about how playing could be a good outlet for his pain and aggression, anything better than this self imposed isolation at least.

He found himself sighing for what seemed like the hundredth time that hour, before he let his fingers ghost over the keys, not quite pressing them just yet.

_‘You gonna play a song for me Matthias? Just like we used to?’_

He hissed at the unwelcome memory, squeezing his eyes shut. He hadn’t said anything to Mason, hell, he wasn’t entirely sure Anque had even known that it was Adrik who’d taught him how to play. He remembered with a grim fondness, seeing how Adrik had, somehow, gotten ahold of a little lap keyboard in their training. He still wasn’t sure how Anque never found it, but that was Adrik.

He sighed once more, running a hand down his face. He knew it would break Masons heart if the keyboard grew dusty in the corner of his room, and he didn’t have the energy to lie and say he’d played on it.

He slowly began pressing keys at random, working to remember something to play. It wasn’t long before he found himself running through the scales, the muscle memory of playing having apparently not faded. He felt himself smile, a soft, rare smile as he switched to an old Russian lullaby, before switching mid song to and old christmas carol that Grigory would sing the night before the holiday.

He hadn’t realised he’d been humming along until he heard a knock at his door, causing him to hit the wrong key, jerking back in frustration.

The knock was heavy, letting him know it was Anque, as he spoke through the door.

“Mantis?”

He cleared his throat, leaning back from the keyboard, wincing a bit at the stiffness in his spine.

“Yeah Anque? You can come in if you want.”

Anque did just that after a moment, eyes scanning over the room, before landing on the keyboard. Shutting the door, he stepped closer, eyeing it with a raised eyebrow.

“I take it this is what Mason came tearing through the house with?”

Mantis snorted, having no doubt that’s exactly what he did, likely tripping over himself in excitement.

“Yeah. He said it could be a therapy of sorts. I’m just surprised I remembered how to play honestly.”

Anque smiled warmly at this, fighting the urge to envelop him in a hug, knowing Mantis wasn’t ready for that quite yet.

“You do not give yourself enough credit Mantis.”

This, was apparently the wrong thing to say, as a shadow fell over Mantis’ face, his body stiffening defensively. Anque sighed softly, scratching at his beard, looking around the room, before speaking once more, wisely changing the topic.

“Dinner will be ready soon.”

“Not hungry.”

“Mantis-”

“ _Anque._ I’m fine, but I can’t eat if I’m not hungry.”

“You’ve barely eaten in three days!” Anque exclaimed, his arms dropping to his sides, fixing Mantis with a look that wasn’t returned.

“I know that Anque, but I-”

“ _No._ You’re eating Mantis. You can’t...You’ve got to eat.” His voice dropped as he looked away once more crossing his arms, unsure what to do with them otherwise.

This drew a sigh from Mantis, who leaned back against the wall, staring listlessly at the window on the wall. Shit. It was already dark outside. How long had he been playing?

“Anque-”

“Mantis, _Matthias,_ please.”

Mantis flinched at the use of his real name, and the begging, pleading tone Anque used.

_‘You’re killing him, you know that don’t you?’_

He pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring the urge to respond verbally to the voice in his head. Mason would have a field day with that. He groaned quietly, rubbing at his eyes before nodding. He wasn’t being fair to himself, or anyone really by not eating. If anything he was doing Adrik a favor by slowly wasting away.

“Okay Anque. I’ll be down in a few minutes okay? I promise.”

This seemed to be enough to placate the bigger Russian enough for him to smile and nod back.

“Good. Jamie is staying with his sister tonight, and Mason is with Dexter, so it will just be us. Is...Is that okay?”

Mantis cursed mentally, in all the languages he knew, for how far he’d fallen, how much he needed to be babied now, but all he did outwardly was nod.

“That’s fine Anque. I’ll be down in a bit, let me shower first.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

True to his word, after his slightly too hot shower, Mantis came into the kitchen, dressed in a black long sleeve t-shirt, and a worn pair of black baggy pants, still a startling change from his old attire, but he didn’t want to stand out. Not anymore.

He slid into the chair, watching as Anque seamlessly trailed through the kitchen, humming an old Russian tune he didn’t remember the words to. Mantis got so caught up in watching Anque, he nearly yelped when his phone went off in his pocket, succeeding in banging his knee on the underside of the table. Grumbling, he fished it free, squinting at the screen as he noticed yet another message from Mason. He seemed to take being Mantis’ temporaru therapist very seriously.

**Short Stack:** “Heya! Srry 2 bug u, but my sister found a p neat song that she thinks ud like. Im sending u a vid of it, along with a pretty piano cover -wink wink- :D”

Mantis grunted at the message, before closing his phone, making a mental note to listen to it later. He looked up, only to find Anque staring at him with an eyebrow raised,

“Everything okay?” He asked, worry creeping into his voice.

Mantis nodded, waving his hand dismissively, as he pocketed his phone, moving to cross his arms over the table, resting his chin on them.

“Yeah, Mason just sent me a song i’m pretty sure he wants me to learn how to play.”

This got a chuckle from Anque, as he shook his head.

“He is...very thorough. Should have gotten a degree in that rather than teaching me thinks.”

Mantis snorted, but nodding, focused once more on the little salt and pepper shakers. There were a few moments of silence, save for the noise of sizzling and popping from whatever Anque was making for dinner. Anque once more broke the silence however, his voice more tender than before.

“He cares about you, you know that don’t you?”

Mantis felt himself stiffen against his will, not able to look up at him.

“Anque-”

“No Matthias. You’re going to hear me out. I don’t...I won’t pretend to understand what you’ve gone through, been going through.” He paused, turning the heat on low as he walked a few steps towards Mantis, before speaking again,

“But we all care about you, very much. You know that don’t you?” His voice was near a whisper at the end, and Mantis didn’t need to look up to know there were tears in his icy blue eyes. Mantis shifted under the gaze, but nodded, finally pushing himself up and off the table.

“Anque, of course I do. You _know_ I do. I just…” He trailed off, unsure what to say, settling for raking his nails through his short blond hair. Not for the first time, he found himself missing his long, rainbow hair. He flinched hard as Anque grabbed his wrist, prompting him to look up in mild shock. Anque had been careful these past few months about touching him. He couldn’t tell Anque _why_ touching bothered him so intensely. He wasn’t sure Anque couldn’t handle hearing it.

“Matthias. _Please_. Stop that.” He pleaded, pulling his hand down to wear Mantis could see the fresh blood on his nails.

He blinked, dumbfounded at the sight. He hadn’t realized he’d been drawing blood.

“Oh.”

Anque simply nodded, letting go of his wrist, his voice heavy with emotion when he spoke next.

“Matthias. I love you. Tell me you know this.”

Mantis blinked once more, before nodding and wiping his bloodied nails on his pant leg.

“You know I do-”

“Matthias. I need to hear you say it.”

Mantis would never get over the waver in Anques voice when he said that. It was clear he was fighting back more emotions than he let on, and seeing and hearing it just made Mantis’ heart sink lower into his belly.

“Anque”, He paused to set a shaky hand over Anques, “You love me, I know that. I love you too. I know I haven’t been...easy to deal with, but-” he was cut off by Anque abruptly standing, dragging a hand down his face, taking a deep breath.

“Matthias, that’s not what i’m getting at.” he paused to curse in a language that Mantis didn’t quite catch before continuing. “I am not blaming you for any of this! I feel like...like I am not doing enough for you, I feel like there’s nothing I can do to help, because I don’t _know_ what to do!” The dam holding back his emotions finally broke as Anque choked out a quiet sob, tears streaming down his face.

In all of Mantis’ long years on this planet, he’d seen Anque cry twice. Once when Anya fell, and busted her head open, and when he and Dexter found himself three months ago.

_‘He’s crying_ **_because of you_ ** _’_

Mantis ignored Adriks voice, jumping up to throw his arms around Anque, ignoring every bone in his body to do anything but that. He felt Anque stiffen for a second, before wrapping himself around Mantis, wheezing and clutching to him as though he’d vanish all over again. Mantis thought of nothing he could say to make this better, and settled for rubbing his hand up and down Anques back in what he hoped was a soothing gesture.

It took Anque a few minutes before he reigned in his emotions once more, pulling back only enough wipe at his eyes and nose. He hiccuped, and sniffled, before speaking, his throat raw from crying.

“I’m sorry, gods above Matthias, i’m so sorry.”

Mantis made a noise he wasn’t sure what to call, before leaning on his toes to take Anques face in his hands, pulling his forehead down to his own. He wasn’t sure when he’d started crying, but his voice was watery when he spoke.

“Anque. _Anque._ This isn’t your fault. None of this is. I...we...we’ll be okay, I promise, but you’ve got to stop blaming yourself for things out of your control.”

“I will stop blaming myself, when you do the same. It kills me Matthias, knowing I can’t do more for you.”

Mantis wheezed, doing his best to not break down again as Anque set his hands over Mantis’ own.

“You’re here for me Anque. You’re putting up with me through all of this. You’re dealing with my breakdowns, and my isolation. You’re taking care of me. You make sure I eat, and that I don’t harm myself. Anque, you are doing more than enough, I promise you that.” He finished, pressing a kiss to Anques nose, earning him a weak, huff of a laugh.

Anque sighed heavily, before pressing back gently against Mantis’ forehead.

“Nonetheless, if there’s anything more I can do to help you, you will tell me yes?”

Mantis just smiled in response, before jumping hard as the smoke detector went off behind Anque.

There were a litany of curses in a handful of languages as Anque did his best to salvage the now _very_ burnt steak.

They both sighed, looking at each other before Mantis pulled out his phone.

Chinese takeout was just fine anyhow.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After dinner, and doing their now nightly routine of checking all the windows and doors at least three times, Mantis found himself laying on his back in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He still couldn’t bring himself to share a bed with anyone, going far enough to lock his own door as they went their separate ways for the evening. It made him sick to his stomach, the implication it carried, but he couldn’t help it. He knew, with every fibre of his being, that Anque would sooner eat a bullet than ever hurt him, but he couldn’t stop himself from locking his door every night.

_‘Don’t worry. He’ll never want to touch you again, not when he learns what I did to you. How I_ **_broke_ ** _you’_

Mantis whimpered, hating himself for the sound, as he curled on his side, fighting down the bile and panic at the memory.

_He screamed as his left nipple piercing was ripped out, taking a heavy chunk of flesh with it. Adrik had already ripped all of his facial and collar piercings out, and was slowly working lower down his body. In some part of his pain-addled brain, he knew he was gonna lose his dick before the end of night._

_“Awh, what’s wrong Matthias? I thought you liked pain!” he taunted, pressing the cherry of his cigarette into the still fresh wound, earning him another scream from his former Commander._

_He paused for several minutes, not wanting to give Mantis’ body a chance to become numb to the pain, taking this time to circle the shaking, bruised man._

_“I guess my reports about you being a big pain slut were off hm? Or…” He paused in front of Mantis once more, snaking his long fingers underneath his chin to jerk his head up._

_“Maybe you_ **_are_ ** _enjoying this hm?”_

_Mantis glared, ignoring the blood pooling around his eye from his torn eyebrow._

_“Oh, come now. Don’t look at me like that. Anyhow, let’s move on shall we? You still have many piercings I hear.”_

_Mantis howled in pain as his other nipple ring was ripped free, tearing the nub in two easily. Adrik smirked, running his fingers through the fresh blood, smearing it around Mantis’ pectoral, before bringing his fingers to his own lips, licking them clean._

_“Tell me Matthias, Commander” he purred out, in what Mantis assumed was meant to be a sultry tone, as he squatted down between Mantis’ spread legs._

_“How did it feel hm? Leaving them all to die, while you fled like a coward?”_

_The emotional whiplash caused Mantis’ stomach to drop, as he looked away. This only made things worse as Adrik backhanded him, before grabbing his chin, the movement tearing open the holes his piercings left once more._

_“No! You don’t get to run away from this! You left them! You RAN! Like the coward you are! She died because of you!”_

_Adrik punctuated the last with a rather hard, downward punch on Mantis’ cock, earning him yet another scream._

_It was nearly 30 minutes before Mantis’ vision cleared enough, and to where he no long thought he was going to pass out or vomit. He looked up, panting, tears streaking down his face at Adrik, who looked more bored than anything._

_He began circling Mantis once more, holding...something, Mantis hadn’t managed to notice through his pain._

_“You’re weak Verkolv. Just like they were, and just like she was.”_

_Mantis groaned, spitting up some blood he wasn’t exactly sure where it’d come from, as Adrik stopped behind him, setting a hand on his shoulder. Mantis stiffened as he felt Adrik lean over him, whispering in his ear._

_“Tell me, boss~. Do you know what they did to her? Before she got free?”_

_When Mantis said nothing, Adrik snarled against his tattered lobe that was still dripping blood, before raking his nails down Mantis’ mutilated nipple, drawing a hoarse scream from him once more._

_“Since you seem to be keen on ignoring me, i’ll tell you anyway. They tortured her Verkolv, just like i’m doing to you, but oh, hers was_ **_so_ ** _much worse.”_

_Mantis winced at the information, having no doubt they did unspeakable things to Arisha before she’d managed to get free, and detonate her bomb._

_“They used her Matthias, in every way they could. They violated every part of her body, because_ **_you_ ** _led her right into my trap. She didn’t even have dignity in her final hours, because you stripped her of that too.”_

_Mantis felt his body stiffen and his blood go to ice at that. He swallowed heavily, looking up at Adrik._

_“...why? Why would you do that to her!? WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU!?” He roared, shaking in his chair once more, before Adrik rolled his eyes, hitting a switch on his hip that sent far too many volts into Mantis’ body for the commander to keep count._

_After watching Mantis scream and thrash through the shocks for a few moments, he cut the volts, leaning down in front of him once more, his sadistic smirk back in place._

_“Listen to me, and listen to me very closely Matthias. This is because of_ **_you_ ** _. What happened to her is because of_ **_you_ ** _. Every single moment of torture and assault she faced is on your hands._ **_You_ ** _couldn’t protect her._ **_You_ ** _couldn’t save her._ **_You are the reason she’s dead_ ** _. Fear not though commander~ I have a fitting punishment for you. I want you to know how she felt. What she went through. It’s only fair right?”_

_Mantis’ chair was suddenly kicked forward by someone he hadn’t seen, sending his face crashing into the floor, knocking a tooth loose. The next moments were a blur as his hands and ankles were roughly tied together. He was briefly freed from the chair, but felt a much more ominous, living weight atop his back._

_“You’re going to suffer, just like she did.”_

Mantis bolted out of bed, nearly tripping over his comforter as he bolted for the bathroom, emptying the contents of his stomach with painful, heavy heaves. He heard laughter in his head, as he soon was just heaving bile, and then nothing, his body having nothing left to give.

_‘Tsk tsk, Anque would be so disappointed. He finally gets you to eat, and you go throw it all up.’_

Mantis groaned, fighting to get control of his body, only succeeding nearly thirty minutes later, when he collapsed on the cold floor by the toilet, body wracked with shivers. He lay there for nearly an hour, eyes boring holes into the base of the porcelain, before finally shoving himself up with shaking limbs.

After flushing the toilet a few times, and brushing his teeth until the bled, Mantis made his way back to his bed, curling up in a pitiful ball. He was so tired. Of everything. The nightmares, the memories, the voice. Of living if he was being honest with himself. He wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep and never wake up again. He knew he couldn’t shoot himself, because only one person would find his body, and fuck, Anque had been through enough because of his sorry ass.

He pulled the covers up over his head, curling tighter into the fetal position, before closing his eyes.

Maybe he’d never wake up. Maybe he’d be free.

Laughter in his head was the last thing he heard, before passing out.

**Author's Note:**

> ;n; God, Mantis, bby, i'm so sorry


End file.
